Writing in Bahasa Indonesia vs English: the feeling is different by novalit99

Something I've been thinking about for the poetry class I have to present next month. When I write in Bahasa Indonesia the words come faster. There's less distance between what I'm feeling and what appears on the page. Indonesian doesn't have the same gender marking, doesn't have certain tenses, and when I'm writing emotional content that actually helps because I'm not making grammatical decisions that also carry gender and temporal information. I can be vaguer in ways that feel true rather than evasive. English has things I need, though. The rhythm options are different. Certain ideas that I've absorbed mainly from English-language sources (fan fiction, fandom criticism, a lot of theory I read for uni) come out more naturally in English because that's the language they arrived in. For my poetry, I've started drafting in whichever language the first line comes in, and then considering whether to stay or switch. But sometimes a poem that started in Indonesian becomes a completely different poem if I move it to English. Not a translation. A different object. Has anyone else found that different languages produce genuinely different versions of their experience? I'm curious especially from anyone who grew up multilingual.