Advice on writing sex scenes when you grew up reading around them by adaeze_writes

I grew up in a household where romance novels existed on my mother's shelf, a whole row of them between the cookbooks and a large illustrated Bible, and they were nominally available to read but we all understood that certain pages were to be passed over quickly. I read the whole shelf anyway. Obviously. Now I write romance and I have opinions about how explicit to be that I'm still sorting out. Not from squeamishness, I think I've gotten past most of that. But because I'm writing for a Nigerian readership among others, and there's a different calculus about what will land, what will feel true, and what will feel like I've imported a template from somewhere else. I don't want to write scenes that feel like they were written by someone who grew up reading British or American romance. I want them to feel like they came from the specific person my protagonist is, which means I have to understand that person much more deeply than the plot mechanics require. Anyone who writes in a genre with explicit content: how did you find your own calibration? Did it change between manuscripts?