What I carried

I left Khartoum in 2021. I work in Nairobi now as a refugee resettlement case worker, which means I spend my days helping other people navigate the paperwork that determines whether they get to have a next chapter. I am good at it. I find it hard. I write essays because the case files contain stories I need somewhere other than a database. I change names, I change details, I write around the specifics, but the weight stays. A family I worked with last year had a daughter who spoke four languages and spent eight months in processing. She taught herself Portuguese from an app while she waited. I wrote about that for three weeks and I still don't think I got near it. I came across with a bag that had my degree, my phone, a photograph, and a copy of *Season of Migration to the North* by Tayeb Salih, which I've read six times. I should write about why I carried it. I keep starting that essay and stopping.